Why is it that as moms we think that we can no longer take care of ourselves. That our world revolves around our children and we are being selfish if we take a moment to do something we enjoy. What does that teach our children? What is that telling them? Why are we so afraid to allow our children to “suffer” in a corner for 10-30 without constant entertainment or attention. Are we afraid of the meltdown? HELL YES we are! But why?? Why do we allow ourselves to let them control us in this way? Now, I am not saying that we don’t need to spend time with our children, to structure their days and make sure that they are learning and loving life, but when did we stop learning to love ours?
There is nothing greater then being a mom. Watching the world through my children eyes is one of the biggest blessings anyone has ever bestowed upon me. My boys surprise me everyday with their wit, their questions, their imagination, their ever changing personalities and facial expressions. They also, annoy the shit out of me at times and that is OK. It is OK to be annoyed with your own children, it is OK to want to take a break and walk away. It is OK to scream into a pillow to allow yourself to let out steam and it is OK to start 5:00 happy hour at 4:00 some days:) It is also OK to find something that you truly LOVE to do and allow yourself time to do it.
Before you had kids what did you do with your time? Did you like to go for walks, did you go to lunch with your girlfriends, did you travel more, did you play a sport? What ever it was why did you stop? Why did you allow having children stop you from doing the things that you enjoyed doing. Now, here come the excuses…
1. You're too tired.
2. You're too busy.
3. You don’t have enough money.
4. You don’t have anyone to watch the kids?
5. There is not enough time in the day.
Now here come my rebuttals...
1. You are too tired because you have just spent your entire day catering to a husband/partner and your children, exhausting yourself of every ounce of patience and energy, and have not taken a single break for your self.
2. You're not too busy, you just think you are, because you have structured your entire life around other peoples schedules and have forgotten to schedule yourself in.
3. You don’t have the money because you have only budgeted for activities that revolve around your children. It is important to have your children experience sports, music and other activities but you used to love playing tennis too remember?? Wouldn't it be great for your kids to see you enjoying sports too? If you really sat down and looked over your budget I promise you can find enough for yourself.
4. There are community nanny shares and friends (if you are willing to ask for help) who would gladly watch your children for an hour or two once or twice a week so you can get some you time. Now, you may have to return the favor but I promise it is worth it:)
5. It is not about having time, it is about making time. Just that simple! Wake up earlier to go for a walk, push the laundry off a day, literally write your "time" on the calendar and make it a non-negotiable. Whatever it is, look at your schedule and make the time for yourself or ask for help. Don’t be ashamed to have a family meeting about it, no one will ever know how you are feeling until you do.
The bottom line is that your husband/partner, children, friends, they all want to see you happy. No one ever wishes upon their family and friends an unhappy life. But we can not wait around and expect it to happen. Happiness is a state of being, so be yourself, do what makes you smile, what makes you laugh, surround yourself with positive people, make time for you and those who shine positivity in your life. Become a better version of yourself by allowing yourself to enjoy life. I promise the rest of the world will follow, and I promise no one will feel neglected except yourself.